Fitness Frenzy’s headquarters stood in sharp contrast to Marlowe’s tranquil forest retreat. A behemoth of steel and glass, it was a maze of intertwined treadmills, elliptical paths, and staircases leading to nowhere – a physical manifestation of Marlowe’s subscription woes. Above the entrance, a neon sign blinked, “Sweat Now, Think Later!”
Upon entering, Marlowe was greeted with a flurry of activity. To his left, a determined woman shadowboxed with an imaginary opponent. To his right, a group of people rowed fervently, their boats going nowhere. And in a corner, for reasons unknown, a kangaroo, donned in a headband, was impressively skipping rope. In the background, an enthusiastic instructor shouted motivational quotes, while others tried to assemble what seemed to be a table tennis table from Australia. “You’re doing it upside down, Gary!” shouted one, as the table collapsed yet again.
As Marlowe navigated this fitness jungle, trying to locate the cancellation desk, staff members approached him with the gusto of salesmen on commission. “Fancy a spin class, sir? How about some Pilates? We’ve got a special on a pooltable for sale! It’s a workout for the mind!” The labyrinth was turning out to be both literal and metaphorical.
After what felt like hours (and a regrettable two-minute stint on a treadmill where he was lapped thrice by an old lady), Marlowe finally reached the ‘Unsubscribe’ counter. Here, he was presented with a form, which, to his horror, was longer than the queue for the new roller coaster in town.
But Marlowe was not to be deterred. With a steely determination he hadn’t known he possessed, he filled in the form, dodged another sales pitch, and finally, with a triumphant flourish, unsubscribed.
Upon returning to his cottage, Marlowe expected the serene atmosphere he had left behind. Instead, he was met with a winter wonderland. His once cluttered forest was now pristine, blanketed in snow. Yet, curiously, he felt uncomfortably warm. As he walked, the snow around him began to melt, steam rising with every step.
It seemed that the universe wasn’t done playing its tricks. Was this another curse? One that turned him into a walking radiator? As Marlowe pondered this new twist, a chilling realisation dawned: his next adventure was just heating up.