Question for Dr. Internet

Oxygen: are we getting enough? Hey, don’t look at me for answers. That was the hot topic at tonight’s P&C meeting at Harry’s school. Marcia Maxwell-Higgins brought it up, being fresh from a ‘health cruise’ that seemingly consisted of being on a boat with a range of the latest health and wellness technologies. By the …

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What a Tool

If Christopher thinks he can just rock up out of the blue and ask me for mates’ rates on ute fittings… well, he’s dreaming. Sure, we used to be pretty tight but we haven’t talked in over a year, ever since that incident with the demerit points. He still reckons that the speed camera came …

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Ute Love It

Honest question: if you had the opportunity to take off in a 4WD to live in a run-down shack in some remote town with a name like Hell Creek or Borisville (population: 30), would you consider it? You would, wouldn’t you, if only for a second? I’m just here to remind you that you do …

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Between Seasons

There’s no time of the year like late summer in Melbourne. If it’s not broiling hot one minute and icy the next, there are golf ball sized pellets of ice raining down from the sky. Everything looks oddly windswept and yet the air is somehow as still as… I don’t know, something eerie that doesn’t …

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Healthy Plot Planning

I don’t like to be disturbed while in my hyperbaric chamber. It’s a time for me to come up with vile plans to take over the city of Melbourne, as all good evil scientists do. I bought my hyperbaric chamber recently, after rewatching Space Battles: The Bad Guys Attack Again. I got up to that …

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Tinted Sacrifice

I shouldn’t have sent Nathaniel on that mission. I knew it was a bad idea, but here we are, planning on busting into an Auto King warehouse to recover his charred remains. His sacrifice shall not be forgotten, that much is sure. I, Saint Illinois James, will make sure that he is remembered by all …

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Guessing Timber

Today, I’m going to the hardware store to get some very important materials. I’ve needed them for some time now, and haven’t been able to get them delivered on the internet. Apparently they are only available at a physical store, which means I will have to get in my car and drive around town until …

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Happily Ever Afters

I had my first career counselling session today, with our school’s career advisor, Harold. I didn’t really expect too much from it since I had no idea what I wanted to do after high school. My classes are a bit of a mess as I couldn’t decide on a pathway for my future. I’m taking …

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House of Nightmares

I am beyond frustrated with my house! Every single nook and cranny has fallen apart at some point and it makes it impossible to feel comfortable anywhere. I can’t even call where I’m living a “home” at this point, it’s just the place that I sleep and spend the rest of the time walking around …

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Renovating the Laundry

As the vast majority of millennials will understand, buying a home is a daunting and extremely difficult task. At the ripe old age of twenty-nine, I have finally saved enough to put a deposit on a house and ensure I have enough savings to act as buffer for general life and emergencies. It is invigorating! …

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