I’ve procrastinated on this for a while, but since I was known as the Skeleton Smasher back in my home realm, I suppose I should be doing something about that skeleton problem now plaguing Melbourne. I bet one of my wayward brethren cast a spell they had no control over, and now there’s a merry spooky skeleton running around, jumping out of trees and (apparently) driving a car. At the very least, he seems a lot more amicable than the skeleton death armies that I so often had to fight. Still gonna smash him, though…it’s what I do.
Of course, to defeat the driving skeleton, one must become the driving skeleton. I know for a fact that there’s a mechanic near me in Milperra, so I can train up here, away from any real danger, until such a time when I can return to Melbourne and engage this feckless fiend in a drag race and crush his spirit. And once his spirit is crushed, I can crush the rest of him with my magic mace.
And trust me, I need a LOT of mechanical services. I’m a massive klutz, even when I’m using my mace, so put me behind the wheel of a car and I’m basically useless. Truth be told, I was only known as the Skeleton Smasher because skeletons have no sense of self-preservation, blindly wandering around the battlefield. I’m generally just very good at flailing angrily, but that doesn’t help when I’m driving a car, changing the radio station, stopping at traffic lights and trying to adjust the air conditioning for my continued comfort. It’s a lot to think about, is what I’m saying. A lot more than simply flailing in an angry fashion.
But it’s really important that I see the mechanics and keep my car in good shape, so I can prepare for the drag race. Those good old reliable Milperra auto electricians…it’s good to know that even out here in the country, I can rely upon their services. No, really, it’s great. I crash all the time.